Monday, January 19, 2009

afraid..

how do you do when you are afraid? afraid that something is going to happen and take away that comfy feeling that you have....uncertainty makes one afraid...but is it better to be miserable and thus not afraid...hmm...one of life's dilemmma...
at the end of the day..what's the worst that can happen....

Thursday, January 15, 2009

disappointed...

yes..i am disappointed...and i have been for hundred times now...i just have to keep reminding me that i don't need this.....

disappointed...

Monday, January 5, 2009

absolutely inlove with it...

If I speak in the tongues of men and angels,
but have not love,
I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol.

And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.

And if I dole out all my goods, and
if I deliver my body that I may boast
but have not love, nothing I am profited.

Love is long suffering,
love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.

It is not discourteous,
it is not selfish,
it is not irritable,
it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth


It covers all things,
it has faith for all things,
it hopes in all things,
it endures in all things.

Love never falls in ruins;
but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or
tongues, they will cease; or
knowledge, it will be superseded.

For we know in part and we prophecy in part.

But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded.

When I was an infant,
I spoke as an infant,
I reckoned as an infant;

when I became [an adult],
I abolished the things of the infant.

For now we see through a mirror in an enigma, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I was fully known.

But now remains
faith, hope, love,

these three;

but the greatest of these is love....

Sunday, January 4, 2009

stop time...

two days before i am supposed to hand in my bachelor thesis...only two days....
i want to stop time.....i want to stop and cry out to the world about how i feel...the enormous amount of feelings that are in my heart now....fear, anger, desperation, uncertainty, hope, anxiousness, sadness, love...
and i cannot cry it out because there is no time for that...no time for me...who says it's going to be after that? it's only a couple of weeks left...no time no time no time....but i can't really just ignore all these feelings...i can't leave here without these settled out in some way...any way...is there a way? don't think so....and why does everything have to happen in the worse timing ever? why? why is it always that life gives us a frustrating lesson that some things cannot be controlled...they just happen....you want it or not....

if i at least knew....but i don't....

Friday, January 2, 2009

I Just Can't Live A Lie....

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now

[Chorus]
Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie

But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I cant live a lie...

and maybe i don't want to....