missing....

tonight i am in a terrible missing everything mood and it's not only the faraway feeling because of England...
i hate being alone...that's one thing that i haven't been able to adjust to throughout these years....
i don't understand why life plays with us in such twisted ways and there is always a bad timing for something...i don't understand why in the end we end up being alone in way or another...
how far are we allowed to dream? if we dream too much than the wake-up call to reality will be too painful and being hurt is nothing desirable...
i miss all the special people in my life and i miss my family..especially now when the future is hard to foresee...hard to see when will we be together again, hard not to think at them....don't want to be alone...