beautiful...

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love

reasons...

i am happy to have the family i have, i am happy to be where i am, i am happy to learn one thing everyday, i am happy to help when i can, i am happy to love, i am happy to be 23....

to open up my heart....

to open up my heart for you...it ain't easy, but i'd sure like to try....

alltid dig nära...

Låt mig alltid få leva nära
nära ditt hjärta och nära din famn
vår längtan den skall bära
oss över de svåraste haven i land
kom låt oss vandra ut
i en kärlek som aldrig tar slut....

dagens läxa....

what i learned today...never get too excited on something....i am sooo angry on myself for always being this overidelistic person that thinks that everything should go as planned, or that sometimes things are easy...
you never know how it's going to turn out and therefore why put your hopes up....they just fall back from waaaay too high...
oh well...throwing away these idealistic thoughts with a warm shower, tea and a wonderful week...:)

help...

it's impossible to climb the big mountain alone...you need that helping hand that offers to reach out when you're in need...together is everything, alone is nothing....

love and romance..

yes i did it...i read twilight in one day....after being totally skeptical about it and refusing to read it i made it..and i couldn't leave the book from my hands for a whole day...
now the first volume is finished and i still want to read more...
however the book made me think about love and romance..one of the reasons i liked it so much is that some of the feelings she describes in the book i have defintely felt at some point in my life...
and there the big question comes...is there such a thing as the outmost romance...so perfect as it becomes cheesy? and the obvious answer is no....we are too caught up today in playing games and are so twisted into our day to day reality to remember how it feels to be deeply, unconditionally and irrevocably in
love with someone... we are defintetly not romantic anymore...
romance sometimes scares...of course no one of us is perfect and if we end up looking for the right one we might spend all our life in the search...we don't want to scare the one we want with too much romance right?

when we are inlove we get sometimes so scared not only by using romance but also about admitting that we arebecause we don't want to get hurt in the end...
i find nothing wrong with exposing feelings...i don't understand why the world sometimes sets this limits on what we should/could/ought to do...
everyone should have the right to stretch for his own happiness however cheesy it sounds and not be afraid...feelings are so hard to understand so why try to set limits?

oh yes...i am going to sleep tonight with a cup of hot chocolate and dream away about my own dose of romance....

spring outside, spring inside...

today was a absolutely lovely spring day! spring has set it's foot in england and this time it is here to stay hopefully!

birds sing, the sun warms up the faces and hearts of people and it's hard not to smile and stept back and enjoy it!

in spring our body comes back to life, our minds are awakened and our hearts...our hearts just flourish more than ever...

i love spring...i just love the feeling that everything turns back to life, there is a joyful hope about spring and about the flourishing hearts...

and i am not going to do anything bout it..just lay back and enjoy!

worries and hopes...

there is one thing on my learn how list...stop worrying so much and stop overthinking too much...
i don't really know how to do that? how can you change something that is so typically you in essence? it's always the same story that can be described as following: i worry about a certain thing, my heart becomes this tiny piece and it feels like it could crawl under a carpet until the thing that i worry about could dissapear completely and then after the outcome i notice that i worried way too much or that the outcome anyhow wasn't how i had expected it to be...that's basically it...

now this little figurative images applies to a looot of situations of course..and yes sometimes worry is good cuz it's a sign that something is maybe not going as it should...
while i am writing this i am actually worried about a lot of things: the outcome of my huge spring breaktrip, the applications for the master programmes, future....
i know that we can never say how the future develops and i am not trying to do that as last time has showed that you should NEVER say never indeed...but maybe i can make some wishes and hope a lot a lot a lot that they will come true and that the worries are in vain...

so yes, hoping hoping hoping and stop worrying...

being inlove...

being inlove doesn't care about how many times you've been dissapointed because this doesn't manage to affect it...

being inlove takes a great deal of time and passion from your life but it's one of the most beautiful and rewarding feelings...

being inlove is being afraid that you'll lose the one you love before you have a chance to show how much you care...

being inlove is not about playing the game, it makes you mess up the rules of the game and at the end of the day you stop playing that and be yourself...

being inlove implies that at one point in time, the person you're inlove with is going to see the real you, not a positively modified version of yourself...just you...with your flaws and talents, with your bad parts and your good parts....there is no escape...

being inlove makes you open that doors you thought you would never open and let that person in...

being inlove means sometimes missing someone so bad that you would do anything to be together...

being inlove is not always about something definite like dating, relationships or whatever state....it's sometimes impossible to set in a certain cathegory...it is just being inlove!

being inlove is hurtful but being inlove is simply beautiful...

the english adventure...

it's been almost one month of the english adventure this week! a month full with novelties: moving into a house with new people and sharing it, making new friends, beginning new courses, a lot of new travelling, new feelings, new ways of maintaining contact with the dear ones.. and the list could go on and on....

there are so many impressions of this one month that i would probably have to write a lot of pages only on it...instead i want to say that i do like it..even if there were times when i badly wanted back....i was missing people, the ones dear, my family...especially having my parents around even if they had been just a call away...now they are just a skype-call away....

i;ve grew to appreciate my mornings, the wake up call that one of my housemates always gives me when i do sleep too much and i would be late for school...the habit of always eating together..it's fantastic...smell of fresh coffee in the morning and just knowing that hej..you are not alone..someone else likes breakfast company...and let's be serious..who likes to eat alone...i don't!

the girls i've met here are the sweetest...i don't know what have i done without them...i tend to get very comfortable and when i feel ok i stop looking for people..which is probably not good...but i like them...and getting away for spring break is actually going to be hard....we've had pretty good laughs...

i study a lot of political philosophy and i love it...i was actually wondering why haven';t i done something like that before....

travelling....oh yes! i said in a earlier blog that i was going to travel as much as i can...and i did actually!! was already in amsterdam and paris and plan dublin and a bit more...romania for spring break...

i try to keep contact with the people back home...but it;s hard...sometimes you get absorbed into everything here....and even if i might seem that i am forgetting some people i am not! just so you know i am thinking at everyone of you!

love to you....

puss o kram!

ps: even if this is not like the other blogs i've written i really wanted to have an update about what has happened...

valentine's day...

any day can become valentine's day as long as you appreciate the one near you...it can be a whole week, a whole month, just a night or just a walk...it doesn't matter...because it's about appreciating feelings that you receive and giving back....

so it should feel like valentine's other days right?

waiting for valentine's....

missing....

tonight i am in a terrible missing everything mood and it's not only the faraway feeling because of England...
i hate being alone...that's one thing that i haven't been able to adjust to throughout these years....
i don't understand why life plays with us in such twisted ways and there is always a bad timing for something...i don't understand why in the end we end up being alone in way or another...
how far are we allowed to dream? if we dream too much than the wake-up call to reality will be too painful and being hurt is nothing desirable...
i miss all the special people in my life and i miss my family..especially now when the future is hard to foresee...hard to see when will we be together again, hard not to think at them....don't want to be alone...

new turn of the road...

at the beginnings of this blog the road had led me to sweden....
at present the road has led me to England....it has been quite a challange all the way and i loved every moment of it even if i had my tough moments like anyone of us...
england...i've been here a week and i like it...so far..
i think every beginning is quite difficult before you get in a real life, make friends and make your own way...
it takes always time and question is that you cannot become too dependant either cuz it;s only for 4 months...so live the moment, lay back and enjoy..that's just it...

afraid..

how do you do when you are afraid? afraid that something is going to happen and take away that comfy feeling that you have....uncertainty makes one afraid...but is it better to be miserable and thus not afraid...hmm...one of life's dilemmma...
at the end of the day..what's the worst that can happen....

disappointed...

yes..i am disappointed...and i have been for hundred times now...i just have to keep reminding me that i don't need this.....

disappointed...

absolutely inlove with it...

If I speak in the tongues of men and angels,
but have not love,
I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol.

And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.

And if I dole out all my goods, and
if I deliver my body that I may boast
but have not love, nothing I am profited.

Love is long suffering,
love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.

It is not discourteous,
it is not selfish,
it is not irritable,
it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth


It covers all things,
it has faith for all things,
it hopes in all things,
it endures in all things.

Love never falls in ruins;
but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or
tongues, they will cease; or
knowledge, it will be superseded.

For we know in part and we prophecy in part.

But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded.

When I was an infant,
I spoke as an infant,
I reckoned as an infant;

when I became [an adult],
I abolished the things of the infant.

For now we see through a mirror in an enigma, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I was fully known.

But now remains
faith, hope, love,

these three;

but the greatest of these is love....

stop time...

two days before i am supposed to hand in my bachelor thesis...only two days....
i want to stop time.....i want to stop and cry out to the world about how i feel...the enormous amount of feelings that are in my heart now....fear, anger, desperation, uncertainty, hope, anxiousness, sadness, love...
and i cannot cry it out because there is no time for that...no time for me...who says it's going to be after that? it's only a couple of weeks left...no time no time no time....but i can't really just ignore all these feelings...i can't leave here without these settled out in some way...any way...is there a way? don't think so....and why does everything have to happen in the worse timing ever? why? why is it always that life gives us a frustrating lesson that some things cannot be controlled...they just happen....you want it or not....

if i at least knew....but i don't....

I Just Can't Live A Lie....

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now

[Chorus]
Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie

But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I cant live a lie...

and maybe i don't want to....