being afraid to dissapoint....

have you been afraid to disspoint? afraid to dissapoint your friends, your family and everyone.....everyone that trusts in you and has the high hopes and still you can't fail to dissapoint them at some point...

i am afraid of that...afraid that the race is just too much....and even if i win this race some might be dissapointed anyway....so i dunno what is the best way...

as much as i try to avoid some realities i am more and more convinced that an uppfront and clear discussion about it would lighten my burden...it shouldn't be the end of the world...but still, being afraid to dissapoint is making it a hell of a lot harder to talk about it....

acting like this doesn't exist and i don't care and i don't worry about it won't make it easier anyways....

so the typical solution of shoving stuff under the carpet and pretending they are not there doesn't seem to work...

it's way easier to write...at least it exists there somewhere...

a friend said to me that it is actually the things we write about that we are going to remember in years because we succeed in freezing that feeling, that particular moment....

hope that no one gets dissapointed on the way....

me following that way.....